10 Steps to build your confidence

Each and every decision we make is governed by our levels of confidence and self – esteem.  A lack of self-confidence can cause our lives to become emotionally imbalanced, slowing us down from achieving our dreams. When we are not connected to our foundation of self-confidence, we can begin to feel anxious, fearful or even depressed.

When our mind-set is out of alignment, unhealthy life choices begin to emerge. The fear factor that comes with a low self-esteem causes us to lower our standards. When we fall out of balance, our need for love, belonging, and acceptance becomes stronger which can lead us to settle for whatever we can get. This is when we may find ourselves taking on jobs, partners and even a lifestyle that we would otherwise have avoided.

Low self – esteem can lead us into a negative downward spiral. Have you ever found yourself questioning why certain things are not going the way you hoped or expected, or why certain negative experiences keep coming your way? If so, it might be helpful to take time out and re-assess where you went wrong and if your past bad experiences were a result of poor decision making through low self-confidence.

At the Harmonizing Academy, we re-connect individuals with their true inner strength and resilience. Our primary goal is to help people build their confidence and open a path to true love, spiritual freedom and sustainable success.

Here are 12 of our core Harmonizing Confidence building principles.

Step 1. Know yourself

Knowledge of self is the beginning of self-improvement and as the Ancient Egyptian proverb goes ‘’ The kingdom of heaven is within you and whosoever shall know himself shall find it’’.

To put it simply, when you know yourself, or when you take the time to really discover who you are your will build your foundation of self-esteem. By  connecting with your feelings to determine what your core values are, what your natural skills are, what is acceptable to you and what is not will help you to experience a level of inner strength which you never thought you had. You will be able to make positive life decisions in a breeze, simply because you choose to stay true and honest to yourself. Rather than wasting time seeking love, acceptance in the wrong places, you will direct that energy towards loving yourself.

Step 2. Embrace your Inner Child

Have you ever watched a three old child? The confidence they have in demanding what they want and when they want it? Children are perfect examples when talking about confidence, most especially 3 year olds and younger.  The reason behind this is that at this age, many children have not yet been moulded into what ‘is expected of them’, they rather still live freely in their minds, playing, enjoying life and demanding their needs.

Imagine you had the 5 year old version of you in your care. When you think about yourself this way, you are more likely to make more loving and compassionate choices for yourself. Ideally, you will want to make every effort to keep this little child healthy, safe and feeling loved. By connecting with your inner child, you can begin to learn what kinds of things hurt it and from your aware-self you can then start making conscious choices on how to look after yourself which will impact your inner peace of mind and happiness. When you nurture your inner child, you find ways to move energy, give yourself what you need and you learn to listen to your body.

Step 3. Know your strengths

Every one of us has been blessed to have strengths and unique gifts. Expression of our strengths should make us feel like alive and invigorated. It should also excite us and make us crave more ways to use those strengths.

Although some of us are yet to discover our strengths, it does not mean we are talentless. We can ride that bike if we want, we can also paint that still life image.

A great way to discover a strength is to try out new things you feel drawn to. Explore, experiment, get curious and play with life. If it produces great results without being pushed or forced, then you know you have something great to work on.

Step 4. Know your weaknesses

When building our self-confidence we are often told to focus only on our strengths, but we cannot expect to build up our mental and physical strengths without examining our weaknesses. Exploring our weaknesses also helps guide us to make decisions. Don’t build a career doing something you hate or aren’t good at. Explore until you find something which lights your fire.

Step 5. Remember your achievements

Life does not come without achievements. As hopeless as we may feel at times, every one of us has made great steps, whether it may be in our career, in building a family or in our personal relationships – whatever it is, do not forget to count it in. Even the simple thought of how far we have come and much we have achieved can boost our confidence in achieving bigger things.

Step 6. Build on your difficulties

There comes a time in every life when we will be faced with difficulty. For most of us, we have an opportunity to grow from the difficulties. They build our resilience, wisdom and strength. If the difficulty appears over and over again, we must stop to question our response and ask ourselves how we can learn from this situation.  This is a natural part of the human growth process. When you have mastered the art of overcoming your recurring difficulties, will you truly feel powerful enough to conquer future challenges.

Step 7. Create boundaries

What drains you? Who drains you? How easily do you say no? Do you have personal and professional boundaries? How do you protect yourself from energy drains and unwanted painful experiences?

When we value our own life and begin to understand our true needs, we naturally begin to create boundaries. It’s in knowing our likes and dislikes, our strengths and weaknesses that will allow us to ultimately create the boundaries we need to protect our true essence and allow our self-esteem and self-confidence to grow.

Step 8. Create a Vision

Go ahead and dream big. If your feeling inside is telling you can do something exceptional, commit to the vision.  The hallmark of many great leaders is that they had a vision made of great ideas. The key to reaching your goals is on developing and clarifying what you want to achieve. Create a visual representation of the way you would love your life to look. Create a vision board or make a life map on pintrest.com. Once you create this vision board, look at it every day and imagine it becoming a reality in your life. Don’t forget to review your goals regularly and update your action plan for accomplishing your dreams.

Step 9. Take a Baby Step

Life is marathon not a sprint and jumping too far ahead of ourselves can lead to exhaustion, exasperation, self-doubt and ultimately failure. The number  one key to achieving your vision is to make the process gentle and organic. Take small attainable steps. If these steps are doing something you love then journey will be a sustainable, fun, unfolding adventure.

Step 10. Create Rhythm and momentum

Sometimes the lack of an effective strategy is the biggest obstacle in achieving our goals. Other times, we don’t even take the first step because of fear or a lack of confidence or maybe our desires become so overwhelming and slightly intimidating we give up before we even begin. However, when you create a daily rhythm, taking those small steps we talked about earlier, life can begin to drop into a gentle flow and our project begin to unfold effortlessly.

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