This is a guest piece by one of our qualified Harmonizing Coaches, Zoe Rodgers. Zoe is also a Holistic Coach and Meditation Teacher.
Our thoughts create our world, so if we constantly think bad thoughts about ourselves then we will believe them; leaving us feeling very under confident and ruining our self-esteem. So, my first – and most important – tip is to start being kind to yourself. Whenever you feel particularly lacking in self- esteem, sit quietly and write down all the bad things you are thinking about yourself. This will allow you to clarify which thoughts are making you feel this way, and you can work to replace them with loving and positive thoughts about myself. Do this regularly and it will soon become habitual, so that in time you will be thinking more positive thoughts than negative.
Example – Replace the thought “I have low self esteem” with “I have good self esteem and I am safe”
2. Forgive yourself
If you’re holding on to the past, then you can’t be fully in the present. Forgiveness can be one of the hardest practices to achieve, but it carries the most rewards. Once you begin to forgive yourself, you will naturally begin to forgive others – which will be a massively positive influence in your life. Forgiveness is a process, so don’t expect it to happen overnight. Be patient and gentle with yourself, and things will work themselves out. If you’re holding on to the past, then you can’t be fully in the present. Forgiveness can be one of the hardest practices to achieve, but it carries the most rewards. Once you begin to forgive yourself, you will naturally begin to forgive others – which will be a massively positive influence in your life. Forgiveness is a process, so don’t expect it to happen overnight. Be patient and gentle with yourself, and things will work themselves out. I have personally found it useful to look to Louise Hay’s Affirmations when I am working on forgiveness:
“I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR NOT BEING PERFECT. I AM LIVING THE VERY BEST WAY I KNOW HOW.”
3. Step out of your comfort zone
Stepping out of your comfort zone can be scary, but it will bring you so much personal growth, as those things that make you most nervous will ultimately also be the most rewarding. This could involve anything from walking into a yoga class on your own for the first time, to writing a poem and sharing it with someone. There are many ways in which we can stretch ourselves, and by doing this we build confidence. You will likely find after walking into that yoga class that it wasn’t nearly as bad as you thought it would be, and you will feel amazing when you get home and proud of yourself for having the courage to do it.
4. Re-discover yourself
Through re-discovering your inner self, you are able to tap into your own true essence – those qualities that makes you feel alive and on purpose. This will make you feel good about yourself, and help you to see your own beauty. Maybe there was something you used to do that made you feel happy and joyful that you have forgotten about as you got older and life got in the way? Reflect on these things, and consider trying them again.
Task – Think back at a time when you felt alive, attractive and vibrant. Ask yourself what you were doing at the time that made you feel this way? And where were you? Write down everything you remember, and visualise yourself there again, feeling once again those things you felt about yourself at that time. Consider where there is anything from this situation which you had forgotten about yourself, and how you could work on recapturing it.
5. Write yourself a love letter
Being kind to yourself, and writing those kind thoughts down, will strengthen your self-esteem. Find somewhere comfortable to do this, and let go of any fear or awkwardness it instils in you. You may be blown away by the gentleness and compassion you find for yourself, if you allow yourself to feel it.
To find out about Zoe’s workshops and coaching servicess, pop over to her website
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